What If All I Want Is…

What if all I want is an ordinary life?

What if all I want is a quiet life of seeking refuge in stillness and small moments?

What if I have no desire to be the Queen of Social Media or participate in conversations that do not open my heart?


What if I only crave softening into the subtleties of this body, of this being?

The noticing of an ache or sensation, and it’s careful tending?

The harmonious hum of the fountain outside my window, as received by my eardrum?

The noticing of my eardrum… that I have an eardrum?

Sinking into the smell of lavender, and the warmth of a cup in my hand?

What if the enough of this Be-ing is enough?


There is so much to to receive in this body, so much simplicity to explore, unfurl myself into

The world outside is loud, big, conflicted, demanding my most precious resource, my attention

It distracts me, telling me what I want

No artificial intelligence or algorithm can sell to the person for whom there is nothing to buy

No big dreams of wrinkle free skin, or assured love and wealth

No world to save, no cause to socially justice-ify


The life I seek is not one of BIG WORKS, rescuing or popularity

It is noticing the universes that exists, within me

How a certain song soothes, how a particular person opens new spaces inside

I follow… the specificity of my own curiosity

The lines of inquiry I trace, like a lover’s finger lightly stroking my underarm

Only I can know how I want to be touched, and where


So, I am asking, what do you need, Dear One? What do you Want?

Not: What do you want to do with your one wild and precious life?

That’s too big, too much pressure

Instead, What would help you to feel safe, cozy and connected to yourself right now?


Reader, how would you finish the sentence: What if all I want is…?


-Jessica Shepherd
healer, artist, author of Follow the Moonlit Path

photo: Zane Lee for Unsplash




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